Dating Tip 13: Give up attachment to unrequited crushes. It’s a little hobby that’s better suited to 7th graders anyhow. Maybe if my mom hadn’t burned my diary at age 13, I’d be through this phase by now. Here’s a little mantra to get you through this period of house cleaning: “None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe that they are free.” It’s Goethe, so you know it’s good.
Boys, take time to clear out any trollops as well. Your mantra is: “Better Betty’s are waiting.”