Dating tip 14: I give up. I’ve got nothin’. Be nice and do good. Stay the course.
Need to invent some magic glasses that allow you to see right through a hot guy’s hotness into his soul. But we already have this. It’s called a watch. That’s right, time. Time allows you to see whether or not a person’s words and actions match. That’s why I tend to look within my inner circle of good guys who I’ve known for at least 6 months, then go ahead and ask them out.
Dating Tip 13: Give up attachment to unrequited crushes. It’s a little hobby that’s better suited to 7th graders anyhow. Maybe if my mom hadn’t burned my diary at age 13, I’d be through this phase by now. Here’s a little mantra to get you through this period of house cleaning: “None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe that they are free.” It’s Goethe, so you know it’s good.
Boys, take time to clear out any trollops as well. Your mantra is: “Better Betty’s are waiting.”
? April 2012
Another winner. Need lyrics. Need background noise edited out
Bad Date Rescue is the newly launched app by eHarmony. Seems harmless and entertaining. Or you could just go ahead and tell someone, “You are a nice person, but I’m just not feeling it. Let’s go ahead and call it a night, see you around. Ciao.” Telling the truth becomes easier and easier the more you do it. Plus it’s good for your soul. The app is free. You probably won’t go to hell. Can’t guarantee that, but I can guarantee some chuckles.
Start at 1:05
Weeds blow tall on a broken train track
Ruth B. draws, we’re fixin’ to get high
Maybe we’ll hit the bluffs
And find ourselves the same old rum
But everybody says this place is beautiful
And you’d be so crazy to say goodbye
But everything’s the same, this town is pitiful
And I’ll be gettin’ out as soon as I can fly
Life goes by on a Talihina sky
The hopped up boys are lookin’ for their trouble
The knocked up girls, well, they’ve all got their share
Ruth seems out of her mind, swears she won’t give in this time
I feel like I’m being made love to each time I hear one of their songs. Never fails.